Buckthorn Genocide
Resist!
Friends! Brothers! Countrymen!
Our great nation is under attack! A foreign invader is hard at work undermining our land. This insidious enemy is hiding in plain sight—they are in our forests, our fields, even in your own backyard! At this very moment the invader is creeping its thorny hands into the soft underbellies of our native vegetation—true American plants—and destroying them. This monstrous evil has a fitting name: buckthorn.
Our forefathers knew not what they were doing when they brought this foreigner to our lands. The outsider was supposed to be used for landscaping. Its dark-green, glossy foliage is beautiful. It is so easily shaped into even rows of impenetrable living fences. Like a sleeper agent, it waited before striking. It escaped its bounds, and quickly spread throughout our beloved land to wreak havoc on unsuspecting ecologies! Do not be deceived by its beauty, for underneath lurks a sharp and poisonous enemy.
This savage excuse for a shrub is crooked and bent. It is a disgusting weed that grows at the base of many unsuspecting trees. Noble oaks, stoic pines, and beautiful maples all fall victim to the undergrowth of conniving buckthorn. It creeps in at the root of established American plants, sapping away precious water and nutrients. Do not underestimate the enemy! Buckthorn grows its leaves earlier and drops them later than surrounding plants, stealing the sunlight meant for other plants—our plants! The occupier is powerful!
Yes, buckthorn is dangerous. It grows at the edges of forests and creates an impenetrable thicket of gnarly, twisting branches. Underneath its deceiving foliage hide sharp thorns! Through its coverage, it prevents the growth of true American plants—the future generations of our trees!—and quickly overtakes entire acres of once beautiful habitats. The black fruit of buckthorn are abundant; they trick our birds into consuming large quantities of this poison, which they spread throughout our great land. Be on the defense!
Ridding our nation of this evil is no small task, my brothers. Cut a buckthorn down, and it will grow again. Like a hydra, it generates new heads to continue the conquest of our forests. We must be resilient! We must be persistent! We must destroy the buckthorn at its root! To truly defeat the enemy we must strike it again and again, year after year. We must poison the very core of the plant so that it does not rear its ugly heads again!
Do not despair, friends. The enemy is wicked, yes, but it can be defeated. Look upon these photographs and rejoice! Where once was a wall of snarling buckthorn now stands open, sunlit American land. Once again shall our true-born native plants grow tall. The land will remember our efforts. This is what victory looks like!
Will you join me on this crusade, brothers? Will you take up the call? Will you fight for your land, for America?! This war will not be won by one battle. Each and every single American must be on guard! Inspect your property. Seek out the black fruit. Trust no glossy leaf. Patrol the woodland. The enemy thrives when good Americans refuse to look. Organize! We must stand as a united front if we are to defeat this evil. We must resist! Fight!









I cut about 100 feet of buckthorn down, poisoned its stumps, wrapped it in a tarp, shoved it in my van, and disposed of its corpse in an undisclosed location. I’m doing my part
Cut it to the ground then paint it's corpse stump in herbicide. Accept no prisoners